I Do Not Need A Constitution

   There is nothing I have ever done in my life that required me to have a constitution different from the internal one i was born with.  The one written on hand-wrought parchment covered in ink from the feather of an actual bird  that Shawn Hannity and Rush Limbaugh revere and worship and bow down to like bullshitting idiots pretending to be patriotic while not actually picking up arms and joining the service….that one i don't actually need. For anything. For anything imaginable. For anything imaginable even by Jules Verne and H.G. Wells on acid.
   All the conservatives and republican dunderheads on the radio, however, they say "Constitution" like it's the words of consecration, which, if you are not a Catholic, are the words uttered by a child molester that turns bread into Jesus. They say it with that level of reverence. The same level of reverence that the child molester uses when he creates Jesus out of pastry. That level of reverence. Because that level of magic is being employed, if you are fumbling around for an explanation. Yeah: it's because in both instances magic voodoo nonsense is being employed. And lots of it. Enough of it in fact that millions and millions of people actually think Jesus is in bread and liquor and that Rights and Liberty are in the Constitution. Its at that same level of what-the-fuckness.
   As these words are being written, Nigger Number One is threatening to create citizens out of 30 million illegal savage Muslims and prehistoric Aztec Mexicans and Nigger Number Two is resigning to be - it is believed - assigned to the Supreme Court…..and this is all being done within and with great ruination in full accord with what the Constitution allows and in fact encourages. Meanwhile all the Right Wing radio dunces are screaming that "We need to return to the Constitution!" even though at no time in history has Washington ever left it. Nothing Washington has ever done has ever been declared unconstitutional. Only things States and counties and cities and individuals have done are declared unconstitutional.Washington never varies from the Constitution. And if it does, the Supreme Court declares that it has not and that is the end of it. So, in other words, fuck you. Thank you. And fuck you.

Anti-Constitutionalism Catches On

   The other day on KFI Los Angeles radio Bill Handel who has the morning radio show people actually listen to in LA said, offhandedly, that the Constitution was basically a joke and a preposterous mess. He will not get into trouble for saying this because he is a lawyer. So he is fearless. Sue him and he will happily go to court and rip you to shreds. Threaten to fire him and he'll quit. He has a lot of options other than radio, which if he doesn't hold it in contempt is making a pretty good show of pretending he does.
   I can only assume he has been reading this blog. To anyone with a smidgeon of a brain cell stumbling upon this blog would have to be a mind-bending, heart-filling experience of unbridled happiness and the glories of heaven brought to earth and resting upon his soul.
   His contempt for the Constitution is apparently so not-an-issue that he didn't even elaborate about it. He just went on to other things. No one in the studio objected either because let's face it, where does one start when defending the Consitution? Where is the good part? The part worth something? Where is the part that fills the spirit with the will to begin a Defense Strategy for it? you tell me. You will have to because I don't know where the fuck it is, you should know that by now. So you find it. You find that portion of the Constitution that thrills your soul with vitality and a desire to fall to your knees and thank Jesus that it's there. Then you read it to me so that I will feel ashamed of myself for speaking ill of that great and majestic document that spreads liberty throughout the planet. Thanks in advance. I'll wait while you look.