The Creators Are All Dead

 

 For 250 years American courts and American judges and American cops and American Congressmen and American cunts and cocks and fucks and shits and avalanches of twat have been debating and defining and interpreting and honing and exacting and parsing and evaluating and dialoguing and forming committees and running up the flagpole Just What The Fuck The Constitution Means When It Says Shit.
   It doesnt seem to matter that the only people who could actually answer those questions and puzzles and contretemps vague and airy byroads of meaning and intention ARE ALL FUCKING DEAD!
   Makes no difference to anyone. We will in the here and now decide what people 3 centuries dead really meant and you - you reading this - will abide by what we decide.
   No one but me seems to have a problem with this.

The Constitution: The Police: Serial Killers: And You.

   the Constitution is a sociopathic mindset in written form. Like all sociopaths Its claim is to be helping you all the while it is torturing you. And if you complain then the problem is with you. Not with the Constitution. Because the Constitution cannot err, cannot be wrong, cannot make a mistake. It is a holy parchment document from the scribes and the original copy is in a special container that is visited and gazed upon with awe not because its old and still exists but because of “what it has done.” What is has done is proclaim itself a deity. Homicidal serial killers are the Constitution in flesh-and-blood form. They perform basically the exact same deeds that cops do: they proclaim themselves arbiters of your behavior, they accuse you of doing things that have forced them to punish you, even though you never met each other until he kidnapped you and put you in a dismal room somewhere, they systematically destroy you body and spirit, they threaten you constantly with even worse punishments and then at some point you end up dead while in their "custody." Sometimes it takes decades. Sometimes it takes merely seconds.

Today's Constitutional Quandry Torn From Today's Headlines!

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/mom-speaks-out-after-neglect-charges-cleared-122171955452.html

Letter to Limbaugh

   I hand wrote a letter to Rush Limbaugh on huge stationery that has a huge Mouseketeer picture of myself on it 'cause I decided to play the Disney card. It said the following:

Dear Rush;
   You know how you are always going-on about the Constitution?
   You ever read that thing? You ever read just the Bill of Rights, even? You have?? And you want to fight and die for them??
   Five of them - which would be half , since I believe you yourself are from Riolinda - half of them do not even come into play until you are arrested or are about to be! Wow: a bill of "rights" half of which you cant even use until you are arrested and one of those isn't even that generous, it merely gives others the right to take your belongings and also barge into your house and upend it. That's some largess of great gifts. What the hell kind of rights are those? Rights for dimwits and idiots? Did anyone vote on this? Were any of them even marginally sober at the time? Could any of them read?
   Two of the remaining 5 don't even concern people! They concern the Federal government and the State governments' obtuse and murky and pompously-meaningless relationships to each other.
   One of the remaining three concerns....huh?.....soldiers in your fucking house? We have the amazing right not to house soldiers? But then you read the next sentence. Which is, basically "...unless we order you to in time of war." It also doesnt specify whether you have to house friendlies or the enemy. That part is left for a later "interpretation" by the Supreme Court, and depending on whether or not they are Muslims. 'Cause if they are Muslims you can pretty much rest assured that you will be housing Jihadists if ordered.
   One of the two remaining fantastic rights is the right to complain!!! That's right, you can complain in a group, you can complain in a letter, you can complain in a note, and what will you be complaining about?...you will be complaining about how you are being fucked hard in the ass by the people employed courtesy of the Constitutionally created bureaucracy of politicians and law enforcement and civil servants. Attached to this right to complain is the hitch-hiking right to believe things that may or may not be true. You get to do this! It's your right.
   And finally, and last but not least, you have your final remaining right in the Bill of Rights, you have the right to own a firearm unless you are forbidden to own a firearm.
   Let's hear it for this noble and ground-breaking list that is so very very amazingly awesome. Who were these geniuses who thought of this? Wow. That is great, good job, you guys, you really burned the midnight oil and it shows.

The All Important Magna Carta And Friends HAHAHAHAHAHA

ah, yes, the writ of habeas corpus. the piece of paper you allegedly need to have in tow in order to make an arrest legal. because no one wants to live in a land where illegal arrests can be made. how dare they corral americans into a pen without the proper paperwork? you know, a lot of people died so that secretaries and paralegals could find jobs preparing writs of habeas corpuses to hand to judges to sign or give to the janitor to sign or give to a signing machine to sign them or give to mr rogers to sign so that mr rogers can go to an even higher place in heaven: the important thing is that they - the writs of labia porpoise -  need to be present, in the room, on the table, in a briefcase under a table, on the drink-surface of a saloon, it doesnt really matter its location ladies and gentlemen all that matters is that it exist and that it is specific about which apprehension is underway and that it specifies which statue, law, tradition, color code, dress code, bar code, zip code, crackerjack code has been violated, ignored, disobeyed, skirted-around, sublimated to one's own free will, scoffed at, laughed at, treated with disrespect and otherwise not suitably honored and adored. so, yes, where is, or are, the writs or writs or Ritz of Caveat Emptor in this case? I do not see any. I see lots of cops, lots of judges, lots of attorneys, but no Schlitz. No Schlitz of Garrulous Dorfus. And you know that the only reason we are fortunate enough to live in a land where Wrists of Corpus Delecti  reign supreme unless ignored?....it is because of the Magna Carta. Yes, the Magnum P.I Jimmy Carter was signed aboard the HMS Assfuck in England in 14 Thousand BC so that people could not be arrested without duly authorized dooty being first excreted from the magisterial bum of the Sheriff of Nottingham. "Before you can arrest me you must tell me why you are arresting me Sir!" this was the haughty and lusty cry from the holy land of Mother England once the evil landowners and landlords saw the might and majesty of the Magma Crater staring them in the face, its ink not even yet dry. "How can we stand and fight against this?" a terrified King John gasped at his henchmen and gay guards of honor as the Magi Garters were waved in front of them. "We are undone" was the unified, whispered surrender of the lords and ladies to this new Power of the People! "We must tell them first why we are arresting them" an emotionally pummeled and spiritually exhausted King John whispered weakly as he crawled along the floor of the castle, seeking to find a drop of water oozing down the rocks of the walls that he might drink and regain his strength.  And so thus it is today we have the Pile'oShit o' Cumulo Nimbus Writus Magnus Opus Rope-a-Dopus to guide us onward into the future of justice for all: "No arrest shall be made without paperwork!" And of course from that has evolved by far the most advanced progress toward human liberty every yet devised - can we take off our hats? - the Miranda Rights! The right to remain silent while being arrested under a writ of Coati Mundi as handed down to us from the Magnorticus Carniverous, signed so very long ago aboard a ship bound for Catalina where the dolphins play and the goats gambol gaily: the Rights of Miranda, the sacred and sanctified honorable and Worshipful Masterful right to go quietly. "Yes, I will go to my prison cell and piss there in my shoe in lieu...."piss in my shoe and skip to my lou"......sorry..... I will go to my cell quietly as guaranteed to me by the Constitution and duly interpreted as a living document to give to me the right of silence! I shall not speak as you drag me away. I know my rights, sir. I know my rights. In silence I will go to prison and have my life forever ruined and I will laugh as you try and make me relinquish my silence.  Proudly and defiantly I will pout and grit my teeth and make no sound. It is my right. The Magical Garter and the Writ of Attainder Domesticus Coatimundi and my Carmen Miranda Rights; these I clutch jealously to my bosom in my little cell of steel and cement and part of a toilet. The last laugh is mine, yes, the last laugh is mine and I will laugh my laugh in SILENCE, as is my right!