There is nothing I have ever done in my life that required me to have a constitution different from the internal one i was born with. The one written on hand-wrought parchment covered in ink from the feather of an actual bird that Shawn Hannity and Rush Limbaugh revere and worship and bow down to like bullshitting idiots pretending to be patriotic while not actually picking up arms and joining the service….that one i don't actually need. For anything. For anything imaginable. For anything imaginable even by Jules Verne and H.G. Wells on acid.
All the conservatives and republican dunderheads on the radio, however, they say "Constitution" like it's the words of consecration, which, if you are not a Catholic, are the words uttered by a child molester that turns bread into Jesus. They say it with that level of reverence. The same level of reverence that the child molester uses when he creates Jesus out of pastry. That level of reverence. Because that level of magic is being employed, if you are fumbling around for an explanation. Yeah: it's because in both instances magic voodoo nonsense is being employed. And lots of it. Enough of it in fact that millions and millions of people actually think Jesus is in bread and liquor and that Rights and Liberty are in the Constitution. Its at that same level of what-the-fuckness.
As these words are being written, Nigger Number One is threatening to create citizens out of 30 million illegal savage Muslims and prehistoric Aztec Mexicans and Nigger Number Two is resigning to be - it is believed - assigned to the Supreme Court…..and this is all being done within and with great ruination in full accord with what the Constitution allows and in fact encourages. Meanwhile all the Right Wing radio dunces are screaming that "We need to return to the Constitution!" even though at no time in history has Washington ever left it. Nothing Washington has ever done has ever been declared unconstitutional. Only things States and counties and cities and individuals have done are declared unconstitutional.Washington never varies from the Constitution. And if it does, the Supreme Court declares that it has not and that is the end of it. So, in other words, fuck you. Thank you. And fuck you.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Anti-Constitutionalism Catches On
The other day on KFI Los Angeles radio Bill Handel who has the morning radio show people actually listen to in LA said, offhandedly, that the Constitution was basically a joke and a preposterous mess. He will not get into trouble for saying this because he is a lawyer. So he is fearless. Sue him and he will happily go to court and rip you to shreds. Threaten to fire him and he'll quit. He has a lot of options other than radio, which if he doesn't hold it in contempt is making a pretty good show of pretending he does.
I can only assume he has been reading this blog. To anyone with a smidgeon of a brain cell stumbling upon this blog would have to be a mind-bending, heart-filling experience of unbridled happiness and the glories of heaven brought to earth and resting upon his soul.
His contempt for the Constitution is apparently so not-an-issue that he didn't even elaborate about it. He just went on to other things. No one in the studio objected either because let's face it, where does one start when defending the Consitution? Where is the good part? The part worth something? Where is the part that fills the spirit with the will to begin a Defense Strategy for it? you tell me. You will have to because I don't know where the fuck it is, you should know that by now. So you find it. You find that portion of the Constitution that thrills your soul with vitality and a desire to fall to your knees and thank Jesus that it's there. Then you read it to me so that I will feel ashamed of myself for speaking ill of that great and majestic document that spreads liberty throughout the planet. Thanks in advance. I'll wait while you look.
I can only assume he has been reading this blog. To anyone with a smidgeon of a brain cell stumbling upon this blog would have to be a mind-bending, heart-filling experience of unbridled happiness and the glories of heaven brought to earth and resting upon his soul.
His contempt for the Constitution is apparently so not-an-issue that he didn't even elaborate about it. He just went on to other things. No one in the studio objected either because let's face it, where does one start when defending the Consitution? Where is the good part? The part worth something? Where is the part that fills the spirit with the will to begin a Defense Strategy for it? you tell me. You will have to because I don't know where the fuck it is, you should know that by now. So you find it. You find that portion of the Constitution that thrills your soul with vitality and a desire to fall to your knees and thank Jesus that it's there. Then you read it to me so that I will feel ashamed of myself for speaking ill of that great and majestic document that spreads liberty throughout the planet. Thanks in advance. I'll wait while you look.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Anti-Contitutional Thought For The Day
The Constitution is a document that boldly declares "The human mind and human intelligence do not exist. Only the declarations and edicts of the men signing this document that is designed to govern your life exists as far as you are concerned. Even though we - not one of us - has never created a nation before, we know that we are qualified to get the job done. Because we say so. It took us months to work all this out. We are the First American Bureaucrats and we know best. We are that goddamned fantastic."
American bureaucrats are still saying this today. Recently one of them created what he declares is universal health insurance. With a pen. The same one probably used to create the Constitution.
American bureaucrats are still saying this today. Recently one of them created what he declares is universal health insurance. With a pen. The same one probably used to create the Constitution.
The Imaginary Balance of Power
Today's anti Constitution lesson: the balance of power. You cannot create "balances of power." If you create three powers….. the executive, the legislative, and the judicial….. all three of which have the power to fuck you hard in the ass….you cannot expect them to cooperate toward a balance. Why would they? They all three have equal power. Each one of them is going to want dominion - cause that's how it is with people who have power. And all government power is illicit power, not legitimate power. It's power by decree, not power by ability or ownership. So they will never balance to fuck you in the ass equally. No, one will always eventually defeat the other two so that it can be the one fucking you in the ass exclusively. So the "balance of fucking you in the ass power" never stays balanced for long. Eventually one of the powers reigns supreme and then dissolves the other two powers and then fucks EVERYONE in the ass. Even the people in the previous two powers. So the "balance of power" notion, when it was created, was a very stupid one, to put it charitably. A very evil one to put it the way i suspect it actually should be put.
The Movement West
Americans began moving westward the day after the Constitution went into effect. This is not the version they teach in the Constitutionally-mandated State schools. However, in fact, it was the Constitution that caused the more-American of the Americans to get the fuck away from its sudden sphere of influence.
This was not at all hard to do, there was tons of room west. There was only an ocean to the east, and it was close. And you cant live on the ocean. You need ground. We live on the ground. So the Americans who recognized the Constitution for what it was - the nullification of the war of "independence" - moved the fuck to the west of the Constitution's influence. Which would be past the last outpost of the American Army: which the Constitution created.
The Indians were not a problem for these people. These were not conquerers moving west, these were escapees. Plus they had nice cloth. And nice shiny things. And the Indians liked these things. And being Indians they loved the barter system. They loved the barter system so much, in fact, that the Indians from east coast to west coast already had in place a universal sign language system to use between tribes 3000 miles apart from each other to trade furs and trinkets and drugs. The new tribe of white people showed up with amazing new trinkets, amazing new drugs, amazing new cloths and fashions……. and firearms! God bless these white-eyes pale-face fuckers with interesting saddles.
Trading went well, far out of range of the New Constitutional Government of Godliness and Perfection and Delight. Indians and escapees got along great. Everyone was learning new things. Whitey learned hunting tricks and Tonto learned about Western History and Progress.
Meanwhile the Constitution Police were staring into the West and noticing that a lot of Americans were hightailing it into unknown territory. Escapees meant less taxes, or less looting, confiscation, and tribute, to put the proper accurate exact words to it and escapees meant more liberty. What if they became so independent they came to realize they didnt need the new constitutional government? We would have to go to work in the private sector! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!
HOW TO PREVENT THIS???
Well, one way would be to kill some Indians. Dress the soldiers in civilian clothes - as is the custom with Muslims today - and slaughter a tribe or two. The Indians will retaliate against the escapees (who are innocent) and the Constitutional Police will ride to the rescue and confiscate all the Indian property and land holdings and declare it US Territory. Please keep in mind that i am no booster of the idiotic way of life of the fucking Indians. Keep this in mind. That's how bad the Constitutional Police are as far as I am concerned compared to the Indians.
Where was I.
So as the escapees moved farther away from the Constitutional government in order to remain free, and the Consitutional-created assholes-in-charge saw the need to do some conquesting in the interests of fencing these Americans in. The story you get is that the Federal government was simply enthusiastically exploratory, foraging into the wilderness in advance of the corraled and penned-in citizens who yearned to expand into the lands of the savage monstrosities from the Pleistocene and reclaim the land for Christianity against the heathen enemies of Jesus.
In fact, the escapees were all fine, they had already gone exploratoring on their own, the Indians were all fine, sharing their youg women with the settlers in exchange for whiskey, and the lawyers comprising the government were all pissed. Being lawyers they made sure that the crimes they were about to commit were made to look like rescue, humanitarian, efforts.
By the time the escapees made it to the far west, out passed the deserts, liberty was pretty intense. As a result the American Western is the most popular genre of any kind on earth in history. The days of "lawlessness" are the most beloved and romantic in the entire pantheon of Times Past.
Eventually Washington DC was in full control of both coasts and everything in between.
Go outside and look at the result.
This was not at all hard to do, there was tons of room west. There was only an ocean to the east, and it was close. And you cant live on the ocean. You need ground. We live on the ground. So the Americans who recognized the Constitution for what it was - the nullification of the war of "independence" - moved the fuck to the west of the Constitution's influence. Which would be past the last outpost of the American Army: which the Constitution created.
The Indians were not a problem for these people. These were not conquerers moving west, these were escapees. Plus they had nice cloth. And nice shiny things. And the Indians liked these things. And being Indians they loved the barter system. They loved the barter system so much, in fact, that the Indians from east coast to west coast already had in place a universal sign language system to use between tribes 3000 miles apart from each other to trade furs and trinkets and drugs. The new tribe of white people showed up with amazing new trinkets, amazing new drugs, amazing new cloths and fashions……. and firearms! God bless these white-eyes pale-face fuckers with interesting saddles.
Trading went well, far out of range of the New Constitutional Government of Godliness and Perfection and Delight. Indians and escapees got along great. Everyone was learning new things. Whitey learned hunting tricks and Tonto learned about Western History and Progress.
Meanwhile the Constitution Police were staring into the West and noticing that a lot of Americans were hightailing it into unknown territory. Escapees meant less taxes, or less looting, confiscation, and tribute, to put the proper accurate exact words to it and escapees meant more liberty. What if they became so independent they came to realize they didnt need the new constitutional government? We would have to go to work in the private sector! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!
HOW TO PREVENT THIS???
Well, one way would be to kill some Indians. Dress the soldiers in civilian clothes - as is the custom with Muslims today - and slaughter a tribe or two. The Indians will retaliate against the escapees (who are innocent) and the Constitutional Police will ride to the rescue and confiscate all the Indian property and land holdings and declare it US Territory. Please keep in mind that i am no booster of the idiotic way of life of the fucking Indians. Keep this in mind. That's how bad the Constitutional Police are as far as I am concerned compared to the Indians.
Where was I.
So as the escapees moved farther away from the Constitutional government in order to remain free, and the Consitutional-created assholes-in-charge saw the need to do some conquesting in the interests of fencing these Americans in. The story you get is that the Federal government was simply enthusiastically exploratory, foraging into the wilderness in advance of the corraled and penned-in citizens who yearned to expand into the lands of the savage monstrosities from the Pleistocene and reclaim the land for Christianity against the heathen enemies of Jesus.
In fact, the escapees were all fine, they had already gone exploratoring on their own, the Indians were all fine, sharing their youg women with the settlers in exchange for whiskey, and the lawyers comprising the government were all pissed. Being lawyers they made sure that the crimes they were about to commit were made to look like rescue, humanitarian, efforts.
By the time the escapees made it to the far west, out passed the deserts, liberty was pretty intense. As a result the American Western is the most popular genre of any kind on earth in history. The days of "lawlessness" are the most beloved and romantic in the entire pantheon of Times Past.
Eventually Washington DC was in full control of both coasts and everything in between.
Go outside and look at the result.
Friday, July 4, 2014
The Constitution As A Magical Decree
Talking to right wingers about the Constitution is a whole nuther universe from talking to left wingers about the Constitution. You talk to left wingers about the Constitution they are very matter of fact about it and do not think it's magical. They might not be sure exactly what it is - nobody I have talked to really does: but left wingers know that it's a good thing, in some practical way, somehow, that seems to be working for them, even though they don't know what it is exactly, even Constitutional Lawyers, whatever in the fuck those even are, they are so - I guess bewildered and involved and all-wrapped-up in it….that they can slice and dice it into fractal-like increments and never repeat themselves explaining its convolutions and highways that go off into the far horizons of contorted unendingness….they might not know all its particulars but they know that it can be shaped and reshaped and molded into this that and the other thing if enough of the right people do the molding. So left wingers have a very practical down to earth attitude about it: it's something they can work with and adjust on a day to day basis. To them its a reshapable piece of tit-silicon implant that can be made bigger or smaller by injecting or withdrawing "interpretations" and "decisions." They see it as a Useful Idiot, in other words, to dredge up a phrase from the John Birch Society used to describe Democrats themselves.
Now then, to right wingers? Oh, well now, the Constitution is something else altogether to them. To them it is something that came from the sky and is inviolate and contains the Ten Commandments. It is something modern day Moses-clones called The Founding Fathers received on Mt Vernon when the Constitutional Deity created it and hammered it into tablets and gave it to - I guess James Madison or one of his close friends - and it allows them to have small pistols and rifles until confiscated by conditions allowed by the Constitution: a document that clearly permits them to own virtually nothing if it is confiscated via "due process." which means "until its taken." If "due process" is followed, well ok, to a right winger all is well. It's Constitutiona. Doing something heinous to a right winger by government is not a problem if Constitutional guidelines are followed.
What I'm trying to say is right wingers are insane idiots. And aggressively so. They will have an absolute fit if after they are Constitutionally arrested they are not allowed a phone call. Even though that's not one of their "rights" as "guaranteed" by the Constitution. They think it is. So what the fuck, the government lets them make a phone call. It's amusing, why not let them have it if that's what they want. Meanwhile they're in jail. Constitutionally.
.
Now then, to right wingers? Oh, well now, the Constitution is something else altogether to them. To them it is something that came from the sky and is inviolate and contains the Ten Commandments. It is something modern day Moses-clones called The Founding Fathers received on Mt Vernon when the Constitutional Deity created it and hammered it into tablets and gave it to - I guess James Madison or one of his close friends - and it allows them to have small pistols and rifles until confiscated by conditions allowed by the Constitution: a document that clearly permits them to own virtually nothing if it is confiscated via "due process." which means "until its taken." If "due process" is followed, well ok, to a right winger all is well. It's Constitutiona. Doing something heinous to a right winger by government is not a problem if Constitutional guidelines are followed.
What I'm trying to say is right wingers are insane idiots. And aggressively so. They will have an absolute fit if after they are Constitutionally arrested they are not allowed a phone call. Even though that's not one of their "rights" as "guaranteed" by the Constitution. They think it is. So what the fuck, the government lets them make a phone call. It's amusing, why not let them have it if that's what they want. Meanwhile they're in jail. Constitutionally.
.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
The Constitution Is The First Welfare Document
The Constitution is the template authorizing all the welfare recipients that have been created. This includes all elected "representatives," all cops, all parks, all meter maids, all postal workers, all soldiers, all old people, all medical personnel (this one is pending, but assured) all regulating agencies and their employees, all staffers in government jobs…..it's over half the country at this point. When the Constitution was signed it was just the signers getting welfare. Then once the first elections were finished all the new "representatives" were on board. Now its everyone. Even people out of work can get welfare. It's all going to collapse and then welfare will be replaced by armed robbery by private citizens not by police officers. This is what the Constitution that Right Wingers worship and that Left Wingers are merely thankful for. And being thankful is far far less heinous than idolatry. Just in case some Right Winger reading this - which is unlikely - thinks his love of the Constitution is something else. Like patriotism. It's idolatry, dude. Don't kid yourself, Christian.
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