This - what follows - is an explanation of the Conservatism philosophy as stated by William Buckley in the first issue of National Review, an extremely obtuse and exhausting magazine. The quote comes from the latest issue of Imprimis Newsletter, a phenomenally tedious and laborious monthly essay on Conservatism from Hillsdale College, a strange place where you go to learn - and not for free - something about the Constitution. It must be something hidden because the actual Constitution is pretty easy to read and takes about an hour to read and which requires handfuls of Benzadrine to actually make that happen without screaming in agony at the boatload of boredom that is its synonym. The Constitution: A Boatload of Boredom. True, it's a boatload of boredom that will destroy your life and happiness and that of all your progeny but it's still a boatload of boredom. Auschwitz was the most boring place in the galaxy to the people living in it. The Constitution is Auschwitz in manual form.
To return to the Imprimis essay, this is an excerpt consisting of some written passages by William Buckley, the more or less founder or at least the main disseminator of Conservatism:
"Among our convictions:
It is the job of centralized government (in peacetime) to protect its citizens’ lives, liberty and property. All other activities of government tend to diminish freedom and hamper progress. The growth of government (the dominant social feature of this century) must be fought relentlessly. In this great social conflict of the era, we are, without reservations, on the libertarian side. The profound crisis of our era is, in essence, the conflict between the Social Engineers, who seek to adjust mankind to conform with scientific utopias, and the disciples of Truth, who defend the organic moral order. We believe that truth is neither arrived at nor illuminated by monitoring election results, binding though these are for other purposes, but by other means, including a study of human experience. On this point we are, without reservations, on the conservative side."
It is the job of centralized government (in peacetime) to protect its citizens’ lives, liberty and property. All other activities of government tend to diminish freedom and hamper progress. The growth of government (the dominant social feature of this century) must be fought relentlessly. In this great social conflict of the era, we are, without reservations, on the libertarian side. The profound crisis of our era is, in essence, the conflict between the Social Engineers, who seek to adjust mankind to conform with scientific utopias, and the disciples of Truth, who defend the organic moral order. We believe that truth is neither arrived at nor illuminated by monitoring election results, binding though these are for other purposes, but by other means, including a study of human experience. On this point we are, without reservations, on the conservative side."
sentence 1: first who says that's government's "job" - to protect people by jailing them and ordering them around and taxing them and regulating them. what kind of protection is that. a conservative - never having heard this question before in his life - usually either starts foaming at the mouth hearing it or runs away after throwing something onto the ground and breaking it. sentence 2: EVERY - (not "all other") - activities of government dont "tend" to diminish freedom and hamper progress, it's inevitable. sentence 3: if the growth of government must be fought at what point in its growth do you start the fighting. why not just not establish a government in the first place if you have to monitor it for some reason. who needs it? sentence 4: is a simple statement of intent without defining libertarian. sentence 5: why is a conservative government less "social engineering" than any other kind? what is a scientific utopia? why do the conservatives know what Truth is and no one else does? what the FUCK is the "organic moral order?????????????" sentence 6: elections are binding. that sounds REAL tyrannical to ME……. truth is arrived at "by other means" - not explained save for one; studying human experience. well, there are a lot of those, does it include taking a shit? That's a human experience. sentence 7: i cant make any sense of this one. "On this point…" - on what point? the point of discovering Truth? its bewinderingly blubbering. Who the fuck knows what it means. But to Conservatives this is plain and righteous English, filled with profound meaning and pious illumination. Conservatives are mental patients in other words, saying things that make THEM feel happy. But conveying no actual facts or meanings or references to life here on earth as regulated by the laws of physics and chemistry, the only laws that actually matter and cannot be broken without automatic punishment that are provided tax free.
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