The Constitution's One Actual Impressive Achievement

   How the Constitution manages to present it's true identity in plain English, albeit the King's, and simultaneously manages to deceive all its readers into thinking it has a different identity....is clearly a tribute to its - apparently - magical properties. I mean there is an insistent legion of people who insist the Masons are All Kinds Of Sorcerers. I think they're just all kinds of homosexuals and too-into-it cosplayers, but this one aspect of the Consitution does in fact almost make me want to applaud it. I mean, let's face it, it's getting the job done: it's a artery-clogging morass of proclaimed bilge and there ain't a red-blooded American Redneck and even a few "Constitutional Scholars" who are convinced it is a Nobel Prize-winning piece of dynamic and brilliant social science. I mean, it's doing something right.

you and the consitution

the problem with you saying that we are not following the constitution and the supreme court saying that we are......is that the constitution doest care what you say. it only cares what the supreme court says. cause the constitution created the supreme court. it didnt create you. you might want to ponder that for a while and maybe eventually the little light will go on that you and the constitution are never going to be in lockstep. but it will always be in lockstep with the supreme court. and the congress.which it also created. and the president. which it also created. as for you? you can look all day long and never find your name mentioned anywhere in the constitution.

Fact of the Day

if we actually had rights there would be no arrests, there would be no courts, there would be no jails, there would be no cops and there would be no State. you cannot have rights and have government. they are contradictory concepts. and contradictions cannot exist. only one or the other can exist at any one time. this seems complicated and weird and crazy to virtually everyone. which i why i have a very low opinion of virtually everyone.

The Theory of the Constitution

   The Constitution was created under the theory that goes like this: this is what was going on inside the "founding fathers'" heads;
   "Let us create a free nation. And to ensure it's continued existence let's create a coercive ruling entity that will force it to come about and will force it to endure."
   This kind of thinking is called "stupid thinking." It is thinking that is stupid. John Wayne once said there is no cure for stupid. Apparently that is true because the Constitution is still going strong and every day the noose draws tighter and tighter and tighter. At the moment the only apparently free person in American is America's President, Barack Obama. He is in many circles routinely called a dictator. He does what he wants, to whoever he wants, whenever he wants and as often as he wants. Everyone else who does that goes to jail.
   It is the Constitution that has made this happen. Obama didn't put himself where he is and he certainly isnt there because he's good at anything other than fucking things up. No, the Constitution opened up that position for him and he ran in and filled it and he seems to be quite comfortable at the post. Because it's a post created for a subhuman sociopathic monstrosity. And Obama was the most qualified in American to fit that slot. And so there he is. And the Constitution did it. And Americans think that that's just swell! 

No Soldiers In Your House. Unless So Ordered.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

   I especially like this "right" in the Bill of "Rights" because not only is it the opposite of what you - you reading this, if you are an American Right Winger - think it is, it's actually worse than what you think it is.

   Now, even you should understand the part before the second comma: if a soldier knocks at yoour door in time of "peace," and he wants to live with you, you can shut the door in his face. Unfortunately what constitutes "peace" is pretty up in the air these days. In fact since Korea. Are we at peace in 2015? Or are we at war. No one officially knows.

   It gets worse.

   If it is decided that we actually are at war, not only can a soldier demand to live with you "if done in a manner prescribed by law" which means if you are so ordered by the police - it doesn't even have to be an American soldier. It can be as ISIS combatant fighting for the global Caliphate of Islam!

   Hey, I'm just the messenger. And the only reason I am the messenger and you are not is because I, unlike you, took the time to actually read the fucking thing. But hey, put down the donut for a minute and read it yourself. Tell me where I have got it all fucked up. Thanks in advance.

The Second Amendment of the Bill of "Rights"

   Here is the total and complete text of the 2nd amendment:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

   That's it. So tell me, is this the case with you? Or is your "right" being infringed. And tell me another thing: does the above solitary sentence seem complicated to you? It seems very complicated to Congress and your City Council and your County Board of Supervisors and your State Assembly and your Judiciary and your Executives. And because they are stupid your Second Amendment "right" has been thoroughly eradicated. 

James Madison: Problem Child

   Apparently Jams Madison is the fellow most responsible for the Marxist Mess we're all in, here in collectivist America. No wonder some journalist at Yahoo wants him memorialized.
   I really dont know anything about the history of the Constitution because it ain't the history of the Constitution that is causing me grief it's the Constitution itself. But for those of you actually interested in how this pile of paper got put together I guess this is as good aversion as any.

https://www.yahoo.com/politics/the-case-for-finally-building-a-memorial-to-james-122956496136.html

The Creators Are All Dead

 

 For 250 years American courts and American judges and American cops and American Congressmen and American cunts and cocks and fucks and shits and avalanches of twat have been debating and defining and interpreting and honing and exacting and parsing and evaluating and dialoguing and forming committees and running up the flagpole Just What The Fuck The Constitution Means When It Says Shit.
   It doesnt seem to matter that the only people who could actually answer those questions and puzzles and contretemps vague and airy byroads of meaning and intention ARE ALL FUCKING DEAD!
   Makes no difference to anyone. We will in the here and now decide what people 3 centuries dead really meant and you - you reading this - will abide by what we decide.
   No one but me seems to have a problem with this.

The Constitution: The Police: Serial Killers: And You.

   the Constitution is a sociopathic mindset in written form. Like all sociopaths Its claim is to be helping you all the while it is torturing you. And if you complain then the problem is with you. Not with the Constitution. Because the Constitution cannot err, cannot be wrong, cannot make a mistake. It is a holy parchment document from the scribes and the original copy is in a special container that is visited and gazed upon with awe not because its old and still exists but because of “what it has done.” What is has done is proclaim itself a deity. Homicidal serial killers are the Constitution in flesh-and-blood form. They perform basically the exact same deeds that cops do: they proclaim themselves arbiters of your behavior, they accuse you of doing things that have forced them to punish you, even though you never met each other until he kidnapped you and put you in a dismal room somewhere, they systematically destroy you body and spirit, they threaten you constantly with even worse punishments and then at some point you end up dead while in their "custody." Sometimes it takes decades. Sometimes it takes merely seconds.

Today's Constitutional Quandry Torn From Today's Headlines!

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/mom-speaks-out-after-neglect-charges-cleared-122171955452.html

Letter to Limbaugh

   I hand wrote a letter to Rush Limbaugh on huge stationery that has a huge Mouseketeer picture of myself on it 'cause I decided to play the Disney card. It said the following:

Dear Rush;
   You know how you are always going-on about the Constitution?
   You ever read that thing? You ever read just the Bill of Rights, even? You have?? And you want to fight and die for them??
   Five of them - which would be half , since I believe you yourself are from Riolinda - half of them do not even come into play until you are arrested or are about to be! Wow: a bill of "rights" half of which you cant even use until you are arrested and one of those isn't even that generous, it merely gives others the right to take your belongings and also barge into your house and upend it. That's some largess of great gifts. What the hell kind of rights are those? Rights for dimwits and idiots? Did anyone vote on this? Were any of them even marginally sober at the time? Could any of them read?
   Two of the remaining 5 don't even concern people! They concern the Federal government and the State governments' obtuse and murky and pompously-meaningless relationships to each other.
   One of the remaining three concerns....huh?.....soldiers in your fucking house? We have the amazing right not to house soldiers? But then you read the next sentence. Which is, basically "...unless we order you to in time of war." It also doesnt specify whether you have to house friendlies or the enemy. That part is left for a later "interpretation" by the Supreme Court, and depending on whether or not they are Muslims. 'Cause if they are Muslims you can pretty much rest assured that you will be housing Jihadists if ordered.
   One of the two remaining fantastic rights is the right to complain!!! That's right, you can complain in a group, you can complain in a letter, you can complain in a note, and what will you be complaining about?...you will be complaining about how you are being fucked hard in the ass by the people employed courtesy of the Constitutionally created bureaucracy of politicians and law enforcement and civil servants. Attached to this right to complain is the hitch-hiking right to believe things that may or may not be true. You get to do this! It's your right.
   And finally, and last but not least, you have your final remaining right in the Bill of Rights, you have the right to own a firearm unless you are forbidden to own a firearm.
   Let's hear it for this noble and ground-breaking list that is so very very amazingly awesome. Who were these geniuses who thought of this? Wow. That is great, good job, you guys, you really burned the midnight oil and it shows.

The All Important Magna Carta And Friends HAHAHAHAHAHA

ah, yes, the writ of habeas corpus. the piece of paper you allegedly need to have in tow in order to make an arrest legal. because no one wants to live in a land where illegal arrests can be made. how dare they corral americans into a pen without the proper paperwork? you know, a lot of people died so that secretaries and paralegals could find jobs preparing writs of habeas corpuses to hand to judges to sign or give to the janitor to sign or give to a signing machine to sign them or give to mr rogers to sign so that mr rogers can go to an even higher place in heaven: the important thing is that they - the writs of labia porpoise -  need to be present, in the room, on the table, in a briefcase under a table, on the drink-surface of a saloon, it doesnt really matter its location ladies and gentlemen all that matters is that it exist and that it is specific about which apprehension is underway and that it specifies which statue, law, tradition, color code, dress code, bar code, zip code, crackerjack code has been violated, ignored, disobeyed, skirted-around, sublimated to one's own free will, scoffed at, laughed at, treated with disrespect and otherwise not suitably honored and adored. so, yes, where is, or are, the writs or writs or Ritz of Caveat Emptor in this case? I do not see any. I see lots of cops, lots of judges, lots of attorneys, but no Schlitz. No Schlitz of Garrulous Dorfus. And you know that the only reason we are fortunate enough to live in a land where Wrists of Corpus Delecti  reign supreme unless ignored?....it is because of the Magna Carta. Yes, the Magnum P.I Jimmy Carter was signed aboard the HMS Assfuck in England in 14 Thousand BC so that people could not be arrested without duly authorized dooty being first excreted from the magisterial bum of the Sheriff of Nottingham. "Before you can arrest me you must tell me why you are arresting me Sir!" this was the haughty and lusty cry from the holy land of Mother England once the evil landowners and landlords saw the might and majesty of the Magma Crater staring them in the face, its ink not even yet dry. "How can we stand and fight against this?" a terrified King John gasped at his henchmen and gay guards of honor as the Magi Garters were waved in front of them. "We are undone" was the unified, whispered surrender of the lords and ladies to this new Power of the People! "We must tell them first why we are arresting them" an emotionally pummeled and spiritually exhausted King John whispered weakly as he crawled along the floor of the castle, seeking to find a drop of water oozing down the rocks of the walls that he might drink and regain his strength.  And so thus it is today we have the Pile'oShit o' Cumulo Nimbus Writus Magnus Opus Rope-a-Dopus to guide us onward into the future of justice for all: "No arrest shall be made without paperwork!" And of course from that has evolved by far the most advanced progress toward human liberty every yet devised - can we take off our hats? - the Miranda Rights! The right to remain silent while being arrested under a writ of Coati Mundi as handed down to us from the Magnorticus Carniverous, signed so very long ago aboard a ship bound for Catalina where the dolphins play and the goats gambol gaily: the Rights of Miranda, the sacred and sanctified honorable and Worshipful Masterful right to go quietly. "Yes, I will go to my prison cell and piss there in my shoe in lieu...."piss in my shoe and skip to my lou"......sorry..... I will go to my cell quietly as guaranteed to me by the Constitution and duly interpreted as a living document to give to me the right of silence! I shall not speak as you drag me away. I know my rights, sir. I know my rights. In silence I will go to prison and have my life forever ruined and I will laugh as you try and make me relinquish my silence.  Proudly and defiantly I will pout and grit my teeth and make no sound. It is my right. The Magical Garter and the Writ of Attainder Domesticus Coatimundi and my Carmen Miranda Rights; these I clutch jealously to my bosom in my little cell of steel and cement and part of a toilet. The last laugh is mine, yes, the last laugh is mine and I will laugh my laugh in SILENCE, as is my right! 

Let's Review

the constitution actually violates the first amendment because it establishes itself as a religion and creates legions of bureaucrats as its enforcers and "diviners" or interpreters as they are more usually called. they used to be called high priests. it is the first secular divinity in history. right wingers are its most devout adherers and believers, regarding it as "a sacred document" that is infallible and without defect. it was created perfect and astounding by a committee of lawyers  even though it is basically 100 % arbitrary edicts and proclamations. it's divine aspects aside, however, it is not even a legal document since it oversteps its authority since only 50 people signed-up to agree to it and only - legally - they are the only ones bound by it and they are now all dead. the entire planet is now awash in constitutions equally revered by their respective parishioners.

A Common Occurrance

   I was explaining to someone who actually wanted an explanation, I was explaining to him why the constitution and not obama and not iran and not DC and not the cops and not the democrats and not the republicans was actually the real reason for all the problems in america and why all americans are miserable. at some point in my lecture he became pale and his eyes became distant. he got up from his chair and staggered in reverse and clutched onto a corner of wall and stood there, a bit slumped and he started to become afraid. I sat there calmly because I have seen this reaction before during my anti constitutional lectures. as i sat there looking around for something on the table top to divert my attention for the time being, such as a magazine or a cupful of pencils and pens to sort through, he started to cough and wheeze at the same time trying to speak. "Evil....." he gasped. "Unspeakable evil...." he repeated. I looked up and said to him "I presume you mean me." He ran doubled-over toward the front door and exited.I was grateful he hadnt vomited. Sometimes they do. I really need to give these lectures outside, perhaps at a concrete picnic tables in the park up the street. On a soap box.

The Constitution: The Declaration of Enslavement

   The Constitution is usually held up next to the Declaration of Independence as being its equal in spiritual and ethical majesty. In fact the Constitution is the opposite of the Declaration of Independence in that it is a declaration of enslavement. It declares the people who freed themselves from England were now enslaved by America. Why the people who freed themselves from England thought it necessary to attach themselves to a new set of chains is something no one has ever inquired about since no one seems to have a problem with Americans being re-enslaved so long as the re-enslavement was not at the hands of the English government. I personally believe that England sighed a sigh of relief when America set its Constitutional  apparatus into operation since it bore so close a resemblance to the British government with the oddity of the bill of "rights" the only new wrinkle. However I am sure that once the British actually read the nature of the "rights" they laughed and chuckled to themselves that the Americans had sold their freedom and liberty hard won for ten trifles, trifles which in a few cases are cleverly phrased to hide what they really contain: some screaming nightmares. Fortunately for the nightmares nobody actually reads the Constitution and so they are content to believe that the bill of "rights" is something actually..........something actually something. I really don't know what to call what Americans think the bill of "rights" actually is. I guess they think it's some sort of bill of rights.

The Constitution Owns You

   The Constitution makes you its property. The Constitution takes the reality of property rights and perverts them into it's opposite so that you don't own property, you are property. You are the property of a piece of paper. You must be an idiot. Because you think this is not only praiseworthy but noble and righteous and worth dying for to protect and defend.
   The fact that the Constitution makes you its property basically eradicates all of your own natural God-given property rights. It just does not get more diabolical than this.  It's almost praiseworthy in its cunning evil. No one ever said Satan was not clever. He's so interestingly clever in fact I almost find it amusingly fun. Almost. Another interestingly heinous aspect of the Constitution is that it is the arch enemy and exact opposite of the Declaration of Independence. It's the declaration of dependance. And subservience. Yours. To it. The Constitution doesn't liberate you. It's owns you. It enslaves you. It makes you its property. And you think it's saving you and making your life possible. It's actually making your life impossible. It's imprisoning  you without bars. Well, some of you are behind bars. True. But that's only because some of the people imprisoned outside of the bars decide to make a break for it by ignoring the statutes. These people need to be corralled lest they become a dangerous example to others a little less adventurous. Which would be everyone not behind bars.
   The Constitution, rather than protecting you, is endangering you: it has set up parameters you not only must not cross, anything you ever do can be declared unpatriotic and or treasonous. Sooner or later. The expansion of the definition of "treason" is the only unified goal all countries have in common. In a sense the world has always been a "one world" government since all governments are  identical. They're like identical multiple births only each with a different name; instead of Bobby and Billy and Ed they are Plutocracy, Democracy, Oligarchy, Commonwealth, Dictatorship, and in our case Constitutional Democracy. They are however essentially Socialistic Omnivores, you being the food. There is a reason all governments collapse; everyone eats everyone. Because eventually nobody has anything. The Constitution is unique however in that it is the first government to expressly lay out the rules for its own eventual demise. The impossibly complex and simultaneously ridiculous assertions and conditions and unalterable edicts laid out in the Constitution spell out in clear and pompously serious language the one-way route to oblivion. No government in history has ever accomplished that before. In fact it might be the sole accomplishment of any government in history.
But, hey; Rush Limbaugh swears by the document. So I must be crazy. Because as we all know Rush Limbaugh is very smart. Certainly smarter than a washed-up Mouseketeer.

How Our Government Works. In One Short Lesson

   Our government works this way: the Constitution gets written and declared "done." The Congress - created by the Constitution -  writes laws. Someday -  maybe -  the Supreme Court  - created by the Constitution - decides whether these laws are "Constitutional." Once in a while. In the meantime cops stand by ready to arrest you whenever they decide to for your having violated a law that was created by Congress. Or by your city council. Or by your State Assembly. Or by your county board of supervisors. All of whom exist by - to date - non interference from the Constitution, each having their own constitutions or something called "charters" which are constitutions for things smaller than States. In other words 4 governments create laws forbidding you to do things or commanding you to do things which you must obey otherwise become imprisoned. This is how our government works. It's not complicated. It's just tyrannical, insane, evil, stupid and expensive. Cause all these people are on huge salaries and will be on huge pensions. With full medical. While you're on skid row. Living in your own feces.

Constitution Gestalt Lesson # 5 billion and two

   The Constitution is essentially a secular version of a "scripture." It's stuff written down that is considered "holy." Unlike other scriptures which come from a deity first and onto parchment second the Constitution creates the deity all by itself, the deity being the government. The government takes the place of traditional deities in that it resides here on earth but still retains the common deititic attributes, among them omnipotence, infallibility, the working of miracles that defy the laws of reality, guardianship, concern, compassion, the need for sacrifice from its worshipers, the expectation of obedience and of course punishment for heretics or as they are called "lawbreakers." Whereas in other religions the gods create men in the Constitutional Church men create the god, which is the Law - the thing Jesus came to fulfill and thereby render no longer necessary. Trying to get a Christian much less a pagan to believe this is pretty close to probably impossible.
   While i tend to pull Jesus into everything just to make a point that is never recognized I can just as easily escort him out again which I will do now.
   To those who worship the Consitution, saying anything critical of it much less attack it from stem to stern is the equivalent of telling a Muslim that Mohammed was a sociopathic mental aberant liar with a lust for murder and child rape and that Allah is a nonexistant pile of invented goat shit and if he IS real then he's goat shit that actually exists. You get the same reaction: you are met with, if not violence, the urge to perform some on you. It's like telling a Catholic that Jesus cannot be installed into a baked wafer by a child molesting social misfit who refuses to marry or copulate on the record by uttering certain syllables of magical power so that the faithful can commit cannibalism. Catholics don't want to hear this. In fact they don't want you even saying it while off by yourself on a desert island somewhere. Because it cannot be true because if it is true then the Catholics have been acting upon a falsehood and a lie and at best an honest mistake. And when you have built your entire mental and psychological and spiritual holding-pins on a lie, and you come to realize it's a lie, then you have to collapse all these edifices and then rebuild them: which is a lot easier to do with the truth, by the way, but it seems so scary and intimidating that it's easier and a lot more enjoyable to beat the heretic to death. Murder is often associated with a lie of one sort or another that came before the murder.