Above is your 8th right. You probably think that maybe it has something to do with your personal sovereignty and liberty and your pursuit of happiness. Well, no, it has to do once again with your arrest. After you are arrested under the constitution your rights kick in and number 8 gives you the right to buy your way out of prison for a time until convicted by some strangers and you have the right to be fined by the authorities created by the constitution to arrest you and you can be punished but not in a cruel or unusual way - which would eliminate prison as being considered cruel and unusual because it is not at all unusual in human history and is not considered cruel by the average man, no, it is considered quite normal and, well, since nothing is - as usual - being defined, you basically have the right to be arrested, extorted out of some cash for your temporary release until trial, and you have the right not to be phasered - which would be an unusual punishment - or tossed into a cage of monitor lizards to be slowly poisoned by their saliva-filled bites - which would also be unusual - or to be beaten to death by an epileptic wielding a hammer, which would be very unusual, or to be…..well I can't think of an uncruel punishment and the creator of the bizarre concept of an uncruel punishment is alas dead so we will never know what one of those would be. So basically the 8th Right that you have says you will be fucked and fucked hard at some point. That will be your right. As guaranteed by the constitution. Which was apparently written by sadistic monsters. Who we lovingly call the Founding Fathers. And who we revere as wise men. Einsteins of social engineering, in fact. Even though they had never done anything like this before. They got it 100% right the first time, though! First time they ever tried to create a country they got it right! That is fantastic. Perhaps they were actually gods.
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